Supportive Parenting for LGBTQ+ Youth
The mental health crisis is especially severe for LGBTQ+ youth. 7 in 10 report symptoms of anxiety and 6 in 10 report symptoms of depression.
CDC data shows that in 2021, nearly 50% of LGBTQ+ students considered suicide. Almost 1 in 4 attempted it, and about 75% reported ongoing sadness or hopelessness.
Societal change is necessary, but parents, caregivers, and peers play a crucial role in supporting these kids.
In a webinar from Fort Health, the Child Mind Institute, and The Trevor Project, mental health and LGBTQ+ youth researchers shared practical advice for parents, caregivers, and educators on how to better support these kids and raise allies.
The key takeaway: being LGBTQ+ does not inherently cause mental health challenges. Mistreatment, violence, discrimination, and bigotry toward them are the causes of many of these challenges.
How to find more help
If you live in the US and require support, the Trevor Project’s trained counselors are here for you 24/7. Call 1-866-488-7386 or text 678-678 or visit www.thetrevorproject.org
If you live in New York or New Jersey and require mental health support for your child (irrespective of gender, sexual orientation, or identity) please consider booking a free consultation with one of our therapists.
FAQs From Parents and Caregivers
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Stress and pessimism are common in response to current events. The Trevor Project's survey found LGBTQ+ youth highly affected by the politicization of LGBTQ+ rights.
Initiating a dialogue with your child is crucial. Discuss their feelings and concerns openly. If unsure about handling the conversation, consider directing them to Trevor Lifeline, Trevor Text, or Trevor Chat.
These services offer trained counselors to guide kids through such issues, even in non-crisis situations. -
There’s a balance of acceptance and patience for others while also setting limits and boundaries that protect our loved ones.
Bring your conversations back to “How do we best support the health of our child.”
Keep the focus on loving your child unconditionally and putting their needs first.
Private conversations separate from your child may also be helpful.
Refocus on how you can align to best support them, and how you can meet your spouse halfway in a manner that’s comfortable and respectful.
Finally, reframe the situation as an opportunity to learn together–you may consider seeking outside help to manage this conflict and continue raising a healthy child.The Family Acceptance Project
You may also incorporate language like “age-appropriate, medically necessary healthcare” instead of “gender-affirming care”, to work against misinformation and discrimination. -
LGBTQ+ Kids have the same rates of autism as non-LGBTQ+ kids. When we get into the intersection of transgender identity and autism, it can be tricky to piece apart.
Kids with autism spectrum disorder often develop specific sets of interests that they get hyper-focused on.
Making a distinction between a restricted interest vs. how they’re really identifying can be difficult. Either way, the key is to be open-minded and supportive.Practitioners can help kids manage this situation, but it takes patience. It’s a matter of stepping back, being supportive, and taking your time to figure out what’s really going on.
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There needs to be more integration of these services. Research from the Trevor Project has found that 80% of LGBTQ+ youth want mental healthcare, but 50 - 60% of them aren’t able to get it. The most frequent barriers to care are affordability, fear of discussing mental health concerns, and the need for parental permission to meet with a professional.
There’s been a big push in child psychiatry towards a primary care model—one where primary care pediatricians and family practice doctors have an open line of communication with a psychiatrist, which allows them to get patient-specific advice and support. This model is going to continue to grow, but we must take steps to nurture that growth. One part of this will be educating families. By letting them know that treatment is more effective when doctors and psychiatrists communicate, we can help families feel a little safer and more comfortable with this type of collaboration.
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It’s normal for very young children to experiment with gender identity, but “questioning” in this context refers to older kids and young adults who are in the process of exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation.
Adolescence is a time for identity formation and separation from parents and families.
Keep in mind that this exploration is your child’s job, and it should be treated with patience and tolerance.
Thankfully, the youngest generation is in many ways more accepting, open-minded, and kind than the generations before them, which allows people more space to explore about their gender and identity.
More Recommended Resources:
Learn With Love: a short film about transgender youth people and the people who love them.
Family Acceptance.org: advice for cases when parents or other family members are at different places of acceptance around their child’s identity.
Special thanks to our partners
The Child Mind Institute
A partner in building Fort Health and the leading independent non-profit for pediatric mental health. Providing care, research, and education to help transform the lives of children and families struggling with mental health and learning differences.The Trevor Project
The world’s leading LGBTQ+ suicide prevention non-profit serving the community through crisis support, advocacy, research, and education. Their mission: end suicide among LGBTQ young people.
