What Are Common Red Flags in Teenage Behavior?
The teenage years are full of changes, but some shifts in behavior and mood can signal more than just growing up and general teenage “moodiness”. It’s important to know which changes might be a cause for concern. Here’s a closer look at specific behaviors that might indicate deeper mental health issues:
Unexplained Physical Symptoms: Frequent headaches, stomachaches, sweating, and racing heart, especially in non-stressful situations.
Difficulty Concentrating and Sleeping: Trouble focusing on tasks and persistent sleep disturbances.
Changes in Eating Patterns: They don't eat much, are restricting their eating, or are eating much more than usual.
Avoiding Friends and Activities: They stop hanging out with friends or doing things they used to like.
Self-Criticism: Displaying low self-esteem and being overly harsh on themselves.
Excessive Worry: Persistent, disproportionate fears that disrupt daily life.
Clinginess: Difficulty separating from parents or caregivers, needing excessive reassurance.
Severe Mood Changes: Intense mood swings impacting relationships and daily functioning. These may appear as increased irritability, anger, or impulsiveness.
Increased Risky Behavior: Activities that involve unnecessary risks or harm, such as using substances, significantly breaking laws/getting into trouble with police, or engaging in violence.
Attention Seeking Behaviors: Pushing boundaries or acting out to get noticed by parents, peers, or authority figures.
Recognizing these signs can be the first step toward supporting your teen through potential challenges.
What Changes are Normal in Teenagers?
It’s important to distinguish between what’s typical and what might be a red flag. Here are some changes that are generally considered part of healthy teenage development:
Seeking Independence: Teenagers often seek more privacy and prefer spending time with friends over family. This is a natural part of developing their own identity.
Mood Variability: Hormonal changes can lead to occasional moodiness or irritability. While fluctuations are normal, they typically don't severely disrupt daily life.
Experimentation: Teens might experiment with new styles, hobbies, or interests and may test boundaries as a way of asserting their individuality.
Varied School Performance: As teens juggle various responsibilities and interests, it's common to see some fluctuations in grades and academic focus.
Changing Social Circles: It's normal for teens to form new friendships and sometimes distance themselves from childhood friendships as they explore different social groups.
Increased Attention to Appearance: Teens often become more conscious of their appearance, leading to changes in clothing choices, grooming, and overall self-presentation.
These changes reflect typical adolescent development as they navigate toward adulthood.
What Should I Do If I Notice Something’s Off?
As a parent, it’s natural to feel concerned about your child when you notice them acting differently. Here are some steps you can take to address behavior changes.
Observe and Document: Keep track of specific incidents, behaviors, and any patterns you notice. This can help in understanding the severity and frequency of the behavior. It’s often helpful to note when these behaviors started, especially in relation to significant or challenging life events.
Open Communication: Approach your teen in a non-confrontational manner. Express your observations and concerns, and encourage them to share their feelings. Validate their concerns and feelings. This step is crucial in maintaining trust and understanding between you and your teenager.
Evaluate Their Environment: Consider external factors that may be influencing their behavior, such as peer pressure, academic stress, or any significant changes at home or school.
Educate Yourself: Gain knowledge about teenage mental health issues from credible sources like the Child Mind Institute. Understanding potential underlying issues can help in addressing them appropriately.
Support and Reassurance: Continuously reassure your teen of your love and support. Make sure they know that you're there to help, not judge.
Encourage Healthy Habits: Promote a healthy lifestyle, including proper sleep, nutrition, and physical activity, which can significantly impact mental well-being. Support your teen’s use of stress management and relaxation techniques (e.g., prioritizing tasks, planning ahead, time management, mindfulness, meditation, calming activities).
Set an Example: Model healthy coping strategies and behaviors. Your approach to challenges and stress can greatly influence how your teen manages their emotions.
Avoid Immediate Conclusions: Jumping to conclusions about the reasons behind your teen's behavior can be counterproductive. Stay open-minded and patient as you seek to understand what's truly going on.
How Can I Talk to My Teen About My Concerns?
Starting a difficult conversation with your kid can feel daunting. The key is to approach these conversations with empathy, openness, and without judgment. Here are some tips to help you navigate these discussions effectively:
Prioritize Listening: Encourage openness by listening more than you speak. Teens often share more when they don't feel pressured. Even casual remarks can be their way of reaching out. Show that you're receptive and genuinely interested.
Demonstrate Trust: Trust is crucial. Show your teen you believe in them by entrusting them with responsibilities and privileges. This boosts their confidence and shows your respect for their growing independence.
Explain, Don’t Dictate: While setting rules is part of parenting, explaining the rationale behind them helps teens understand and accept these boundaries. Engage in discussions rather than issuing commands.
Offer Praise: Adolescents, just like younger children, need affirmation. Regular, genuine praise can significantly boost their self-esteem and strengthen your relationship.
Manage Your Emotions: Keep your cool during heated moments. Remember, as an adult, you're the role model for emotional regulation. If tensions are too high, take a break and revisit the conversation later.
Enjoy Shared Activities: Quality time spent together doing mutually enjoyable activities can strengthen your bond. It’s a way to connect without the pressure of a formal conversation.
While these can be useful tools, it’s important to recognize your limitations as a caregiver. If your teenager’s behavior turns to aggression, self-harm, or shows signs of deeper emotional or psychological distress, it may be time to seek professional help. Remember, while empathy and support can always help, there's no substitute for professional guidance.
