7 Kinds of Anxiety Affecting Children and Teens (and How to Deal With Them)
Anxiety in kids and teens can come in all shapes and sizes. Learn the seven distinct anxiety disorders in children, what parents can do to help relieve anxiety symptoms at home, and how and when to seek professional help.
Some degree of fear or anxiety is normal. But when anxiety becomes persistent, increasingly unrealistic, and begins to interfere with your child or teen’s daily life, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder.
The prevalence of anxiety disorders has doubled since the Covid-19 pandemic. The first step in helping your child is understanding more about which kind of anxiety they may be facing.
There are 7 common kinds of anxiety including separation anxiety, social anxiety and panic disorder.
In this article, we’ll review:
The signs for each kind of anxiety
Practical advice on how you can help your child cope with their anxiety
When it may be time to get more help and where to find it.
1. Separation anxiety disorder
Children with separation anxiety become extremely upset when they are separated from their parents or caregivers. The distress that they feel is unusual compared to other children their age.
What to look for:
Symptoms of separation anxiety affecting children and teens can include:
Worrying about parents getting sick or dying
Worrying about getting lost or kidnapped
Not wanting to go to school
How to help:
As a parent, you can help your child with separation anxiety by:
Preparing kids for the separation ahead of time. Let them know what to expect.
Creating a short ritual like a hug or a high-five can make goodbyes easier.
Practice separating for short periods of time and build up to longer ones.
2. Social anxiety disorder
Children or teens with social anxiety are very self-conscious. They can find it difficult to hang out with peers or participate in class because they are fearful of rejection.
What to look for:
Symptoms of social anxiety affecting children and teens can include:
Avoiding social situations
Feeling panicky during social situations.
Worrying people will judge them for being anxious
Older kids or teens with social anxiety may shake, sweat or be short of breath. Younger children experiencing social anxiety may have tantrums or cry.
How to help:
As a parent, you can help your child with social anxiety by:
Gently pushing the child outside their comfort zone. Practice doing something that makes them nervous.
Arm your child with knowledge about a situation before the event.
Give praise for achieving baby steps.
3. Selective mutism
Children and teens with selective mutism have a hard time speaking in some places, like at school. Their anxiety goes beyond typical shyness and isn’t about refusing to speak. Children with selective mutism won’t speak even when they badly want to.
What to look for:
Symptoms of selective mutism in children and teens include:
Feeling “frozen” with anxiety and unable to speak
Talking a normal amount at home but being unable to speak in other places like school or around certain people
How to help:
As a parent, you can help your child with selective mutism by:
Waiting 5 seconds after a question to allow your child time to respond.
Using questions that require answers beyond yes or no.
Giving specific praise - such as “Great job asking for more milk!” - to reinforce positive behaviors.
4. Generalized anxiety disorder
Children with generalized anxiety disorder, also known as GAD, are bothered and worried about everyday things more often, and to a higher degree than other children.
What to look for:
Symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder in children and teens include:
Being a perfectionist
Feeling “out of control” anxiety about many different things
Having trouble sleeping
How to help:
As a parent, you can help your child with generalized anxiety by:
Respecting their feelings but encouraging them to persist. “I know this worries you, but I know you can do it.”
Think things through with your child. Create a “what if” plan.
Ask open-ended questions like “How are you feeling about the math test?” instead of leading questions like “Are you worried about the math test?”
5. Panic disorder
Children and teens with panic disorder have a history of panic attacks. Panic attacks are a scary and very sudden surge of physical signs of anxiety, such as feeling like they are having a heart attack, or other symptoms that can make kids worry they are dying or “going crazy.”
What to look for:
Symptoms of panic disorder in children and teens include:
Racing heart or chest pains
Sweating
Shaking
Trouble breathing
Shortness of breath
Nausea
Intense fear of experiencing more attacks
Avoiding places where they have had panic attacks in the past or places that would be hard to escape, like crowds or enclosed spaces
How to help:
As a parent, you can help your child with panic disorders by:
Learning breathing techniques to help keep the physical symptoms managed.
Try to keep calm behavior and tone of voice when your child is having a panic attack.
Talk about a time you experienced anxiety and how you coped - even if it’s not ideal - so your child can learn from it.
6. Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Children with obsessive-compulsive disorder, also known as OCD, experience unwanted thoughts, worries or impulses called obsessions. They often develop repetitive actions or rituals — called compulsions — to calm the anxiety caused by their obsessions. Behaviors like touching, tapping or stepping in unusual ways, arranging things over and over, repeating words or phrases, washing or cleaning more than needed.
What to look for:
Symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder in children and teens include both the compulsions mentioned above and obsessions like:
Fear of doing something “bad”
Repeatedly asking for reassurance
Repeatedly washing hands or making things even
How to help:
As a parent, you can help your child with obsessive-compulsive disorder by:
Gradually helping your child learn to overcome smaller fears.
Limiting participation in your child’s rituals. If your child is afraid of germs, for instance, help them get used to opening the door themselves.
Recognize that changes are hard for your child, but emphasize that you believe they can handle it.
7. Specific phobia
Children and teens with specific phobia have extreme fears about a particular object, situation or place. These things aren’t typically considered dangerous but seem very scary to the child. Specific phobias can be a result of a lived experience. But often they’re not and it’s hard to tell why a child has developed them.
Common specific phobias in children and teens include:
Animals/bugs
Natural environment, such as storms, heights or water
Blood/needles/injuries
Situations like flying or being in tunnels or on bridges
Loud sounds
Vomiting
Costumed characters
What to look for:
Symptoms of specific phobias include:
Showing extreme fear of something that isn’t actually dangerous
How to help:
As a parent, you can help your child with specific phobias by:
Helping your child talk about what is frightening them and why.
Offer reassurance and encouragement, but don’t dwell.
Make a plan to become braver.
Learn proven and practical skills to help your child cope with their anxiety in a course combining live 1:1 coaching and on-demand lessons.
When and how to get more help
It may be time to seek more help for your child or teen’s anxiety if you’re noticing their anxiety is:
Getting worse: anxiety is triggered more often, strong anxious feelings last longer & are more easily triggered
Interferes: with their daily lives as well as your family’s routines
Not isolated to them: if you have a family history of anxiety disorders
Leads to dangerous behaviors: if your child begins to escape school or puts their wellbeing at risk
